


Doubts

by princiere



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Awkward Romance, Blood Kink, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, First Time, Fluff, Gentle Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Minor Violence, Soul Bond, Swearing, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Transphobia, Underfell Papyrus (Undertale), Underfell Sans (Undertale)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-14 19:10:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16918713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princiere/pseuds/princiere
Summary: Suddenly going from living somewhere where the most upheld policy was "kill or be killed", to suddenly living on the surface -- it was bound to affect everyone, one way or another.Sans wasn't that affected by the change, until you came along & made him begin to experience emotions he never thought he'd have to deal with.





	1. Warming Up

**Author's Note:**

> yea yea yea I'm late to the party w/ the underfell au, but considering I thought cringe culture was a thing back then, you'll have to pardon my dumbassery. now I just wanna show underfell Sans that he's deserving of some love, damnit!!
> 
> (btw, he won't be named "Red" or "Edge" or anything like that. I imagine the names stay the same, for most au's)
> 
> [(D.N.) means "deadname" btw]

His doubts were his worst enemy.

Looking back on his confession, Sans still found himself mortified that _you_ , of all people, actually reciprocated. He'd only said something about how he felt because it was eating away at him to the point where he needed to leave the room if he so much as caught you smiling -- which, due to your kind nature, was a _goddamn given_ every time he (or anyone) came around. He knew that if he said something, _anything_ about this, it'd be out of his system & he could finally fucking move on & forget all these stupid feelings you caused.

But, you reciprocated, which only worsened these feelings. More specifically, doubt. That was his major issue, & made him constantly worry over practically nothing, but _everything_ to him. What if you lost interest in him? What if you found someone else that could treat you better than he could? To him, you deserved so much better than the mess he was, so of course he was going to worry.

It's been a few weeks now. Sans still flinched when you'd touch him, & every time, you apologized. But he brushed it off. This time, the two of you were alone at home, so he knew damn well you couldn't set this aside over him just being worried Papyrus would catch the two of you.

"Are you sure?" You questioned. "You can tell me to back off, y'know."

You were teasing, of course, but the fact that Sans still seemingly gave off a strong enough "don't touch me" vibe, that you still felt nervous about touching him -- it hurt. But it also scared him, to actually begin to _regret_ his behavior & natural aura.

It was terrifying, suddenly wishing to be touched after spending so long running away at the implication, but now that he was with you, Sans felt surges of cravings he'd never felt before.

"i...i'm sure." He muttered, but you still caught it. "i just...ain't used to anythin' that ain't brash as hell."

Glancing away from the TV finally, Sans noticed how you were staring at your hands. "I understand, but-- Just don't force yourself if anything I do makes you uncomfortable, okay?"

Damn you, caring for him so openly. You were gonna kill him just from being too nice for your own good. "...yea. but, uh...i'll tell ya to back off when i say so. so uh...do what ya want, i don't care."

_God_ , did he care. He cared _too_ much & that terrified him.

You seemed to suddenly lighten up, your smile widening as your cheeks flushed a shade darker. Turning to face him, you sat with your legs crossed, that damn smile still plastered on your face.

_Fuck_ , you were cute...

"Then, would you mind if I held your hand?"

_Fuck_ , he was gonna die. 

Sans could feel his cheekbones flush as well, as a few beads of sweat appeared on his skull. "l-like i said, i don't care." He internally screamed at his stutter, & hoped you wouldn't call him out on that.

No, instead you seemed more focused on the task at hand (heh). Gently, you pulled his closest hand out of his jacket pocket, which almost seemed to rattle out of fear. "I still find it really cool, how you got more bones in your palms." You commented. "Otherwise, you'd have really long fingers, heheh..."

Sans felt like he was dying. His soul was hammering, causing a deep part of him to shudder with anxiety. Were you _trying_ to torture him, by prolonging this damn process?!

His soul skidded to a dead halt when you laced your fingers with his, followed by a quiet giggle from you. "This is nice." You muttered. "How about you, Sans?"

His eyelights snuffed out when you said his name. "j-just peachy, doll."

Sans wasn't sure which feeling he was feeling the most: anxiety, fear, adoration, lust, _fear_ , admiration, paranoia, _fear, lust, **fear, lust, fear**_ \--

"i have to go." He almost reluctantly took his hand back, instantly teleporting to the bathroom & locking the door behind him. Sinking to the floor, he raised his hand to wipe his forehead--

He caught the smell of something foreign. Looking back to his hand -- the one that was just holding onto yours -- he raised it back to his nasal cavity. You'd taken a shower earlier today, so it was no surprise the smell of your shampoo lingered on your hands, but now that he had it too...

He didn't leave for a good half hour.

 

×-♡-×

 

Initially, you were worried you'd pushed him past his limits, but as you learned later that night, that didn't seem to be the case. Papyrus had returned home, just as you were finishing up dinner preparations. He'd made it clear that everyone eat at the table for meals (which you didn't do while he was out) so you took your usual seat at the same corner as Sans. He seemed...out of it, but this behavior was nothing new to you, so you began to eat.

While Papyrus went on about how his day went, you felt something nudge your knee closest to the smaller skeleton. Glancing to Sans, he didn't seem to have noticed that little gesture at all, so you brushed it off & continued listening.

Then you felt it again. Was he...bumping his knee to yours? Sans usually kept to himself, flinching away if you so much as brushed him, but this was...new. You glanced to him again, but he still looked as though he hadn't noticed this. It didn't take you much longer to realize... He was trying to be subtle.

At least, until you rested your closest hand on your leg, to which Sans suddenly grabbed it with his own. You sputtered, nearly choking on your food & ending up apologizing to Papyrus for _"so rudely interrupting him"_. You took many sips of your drink, trying to reclaim your composure as you began to flush, due to Sans now initiating the lacing of his fingers with yours.

His cheekbones were a noticable red now too, but he still acted rather calm, contradicting his earlier behavior towards these gestures. Even more damning, was the fact that he was doing this in _Papyrus's_ presence too. You knew he tended to be much more _"on the defense"_ when Papyrus came around, & you'd dealt with this behavior from him as well-- but as of a few weeks ago, things changed.

Still, to think he'd allow himself to suddenly be _"vulnerable"_ if it meant he could hold your hand...

You smiled into your cup, trying not to giggle. _Damn_ , he was cute.

 

×-♡-×

 

"The snow's really coming down, huh?"

"nothin' new to me."

"To the point where the power goes out?" You raised an eyebrow to Sans. "I kinda needed the heater, 'specially since we don't have a fireplace..."

"you'll live."

You shivered, wrapping the blanket around you a little tighter. Given that Papyrus was home & it wasn't dinnertime, Sans didn't want to push his luck by pulling dastardly deeds such as holding your hand, so it was no surprise he was no help during the snowstorm.

Still, to watch you shiver in misery...

"...where's your laptop?"

"What?" You looked to him, but when he gave no elaboration, you motioned to your room with your head. "Upstairs, on my desk. What are you--"

"be right back." Sans stood up. "and, uh...take this."

Before you could object, Sans shedded his jacket & let it fall next to you on the couch. "i don't need it for warmth." He excused himself, teleporting to your room before you could get a single word out.

God, he felt like Papyrus was gonna chastise him if he saw you in Sans' jacket, but at this point... He'd rather that than watch you suffering from the cold.

Still, to think about _you_ in _his_ jacket...

Grabbing your laptop, he teleported back downstairs. "here ya g--"

He stopped when he looked back to you. Your blanket was now just wrapped around your legs, as you huddled yourself in the black & red jacket he'd given you. You pulled the fur-lined hoodie closer, tucking your face into the warm fur.

Sans tried his damn hardest to keep his magic under control, but-- _Christ_ , you looked so _good_ in his jacket, something that belonged to _him_...

Shit, what was he thinking? The two of you haven't even _kissed_ yet, what was he--

_Fuck_ , why was he thinking of _kissing?!_

His eyelights disappeared again, & he handed your laptop to you as a way to distract from his flushed appearance. You took your laptop, opening it up to browse for a moment. "Unsurprisingly, the internet's out too." You sighed, your voice much less trembling than before.

Good, you weren't as cold anymore. At least his offer wasn't in vain...

Still, Sans found it strange that you actually _enjoyed_ your time with him. Hell, you seemed to _love_ these stupid little gestures he'd been doing lately, so...maybe you weren't faking it like he thought...?

But...why? Why did you like _him_ , out of everyone you could've chosen? He's a mess, a nervous wreck, & certainly not capable of managing a relationship, due to his behavior. He was _anxious_ , he was _inadequate_ , he was _perverted_ , he was--

His thoughts were snuffed out when he felt something on his shoulder. Sans didn't need to look to see what was on him, but he seemed to feel more masochistic than usual today. Glancing down, he felt his soul begin to rapidly pound at the sight of you leaning against him while you mindlessly looked around your computer.

...How the _hell_ were you comfortable? That was a legitimate question Sans had this time, so he voiced it. You looked up to him, & _damnit_ he visibly tensed when he realized how close you were. Why did he always get so scared when you showed your affections?

"What, because you got a boney shoulder?" You raised an eyebrow. "I don't mind. I mean...it's you, so it's got its own comfort, if that makes sense."

"not in the slightest."

You giggled. "Fair. By the way, if your arm's getting uncomfortable,"

You didn't say another word, reaching from behind to grab his closest hand. Sans wondered what the hell you were doing, until he felt you place his hand around your waist. He flushed when he felt his fingers shape your figure, just under his jacket.

_Oh no. You were trying to kill him again._

"Is this alright?" You asked Sans, who was starting to feel a tingle in his fingers & in his chest.

"i-i mean, i woulda told ya to shove off if it wasn't." He tried to brush it off, but something in him only wanted more.

You hummed, smiling. "I have some movies downloaded on here, if you're interested."

"better than starin' at a wall 'till this shit blows over."

"Good point." You leaned more into Sans, unaware of how much he flushed at the feeling of your body pressed against his. He gripped onto you a little tighter, & was grateful you didn't say anything about it.

"...yea..."

 

×-♡-×

 

Why did he agree to go out with you to the store? He hated people, & it didn't help that it was right after most people were out of work, so there was an annoying amount of people at the store.

But he supposed getting to hold your hand every now & then was fair trade.

"are we gonna be done soon?" Sans groaned.

You laughed a bit. "We've only been here for, like, ten minutes, love."

...Right. You'd started using petnames recently. He guessed it was fair, given he rarely ever called you your actual name anymore, but did you really have to stick with shit like _"love"_?

"ten minutes too long, frankly."

You smiled, taking hold of his hand again. "Just a bit longer, okay?" 

"...fine, but i'm gonna go get more mustard." Sans took his hand back. As much as he wanted to keep holding it, he still felt that surge of anxiety when others would see the gesture. Were they judging? He could feel it sometimes, but decided against saying anything for fear of pissing you off. 

Not like you ever got mad at him, but still.

"Alright." You nodded, still smiling.

Once he was out of sight, you returned your focus to your grocery list. Despite feeling as though you'd written down everything you needed, you still sent a text to Papyrus to ask if there was anything he could think of that you should get. With that sent, it was then you felt as though...someone was looking at you.

Pretending to peruse the aisle, you looked further down the shelves, noticing someone in your peripheral. They still looked rather blurry from your side, so you glanced for just a moment--

She looked away just as you glanced, but you'd recognize her anywhere, & you began to feel your body seize up with fear. Or, did Sans have a grip on your soul again?

No, he was still nowhere to be seen.

You whipped your head back to stare at whatever was in front of you. Man, laundry detergent had never looked so interesting before. Was she gone yet? You kept staring, hoping Sans would just _hurry the hell up_ & get ba--

"(D.N.)?"

Your blood ran cold. Shit, shit, shit. Don't cry, don't cry, just stay cool. "It's _____." You corrected her, knowing it was in vain.

"Still doing that?" She scoffed. "I thought you'd be done with that by high school."

"Because it's not a phase. It never was."

"Sure." You didn't need to look to see her rolling her eyes. "You here alone?"

"No."

"Shame. I was hoping we could catch up, like old times--"

"Where you constantly insulted me & used me as your little toy just because I was alone when I came out? I'd rather not." You snapped your gaze to hers, trying not to let your eyes well up.

You almost flinched when you saw that familiar click in her stare, when she would drop the happy-go-lucky schtick she used on everyone but you. Your heart began to hammer in your chest, but you did your best to stand your ground. She smiled at this. "Are you still not over that? I _told_ you, they were all jokes, you just need to chill out and--"

"You don't get to _decide_ that they didn't hurt me." You stopped her, now feeling your hands grip at nothing while visibly shaking. "And here you are now, still making fun of me for being trans. Y'know what, I--"

"That's enough from you." She suddenly grabbed your wrist, squeezing with enough force that you winced in pain. You tried to pull away, but she only gripped tighter in response. "Y'know, it really hurt when you started retaliating against me in those last few months we were together." She smiled again. "I thought you loved me, _____."

No, _no, oh no_ , she was pulling _that_ shit again. Luckily, you recognized it this time, instead of falling for it like you used to. "I only did for those first few months. Then you changed."

Before you saw it, she slapped you, _hard_ , letting you stumble away as your face began to sting. Now, the tears spilled, & when you looked up, you noticed the familiar black & red clothing in front of you instead of her. She cried out when he grabbed her arm, gripping much tighter than you imagined she was doing with you.

"i oughta break every goddamn bone in your body for doin' that, y'know." Sans spoke in such a scary, deep voice, that even you were starting to feel perturbed. "something tells me ya oughta run along now, before i make that a reality."

You couldn't see his face, but judging by the pure terror in her face, it wasn't pretty. Though, it almost felt nice to watch this, remembering everything she'd done to you & witnessing karma spit back in her face for once. When Sans let go, she stumbled back, rubbing at the clearly purple markings in her wrist now.

" _Fucking crazy tranny!_ " She yelled, before walking as fast as she could away from the two of you. It wasn't like you could hear what she said very well anyway, as your ear rang & drowned out any incoming noises.

Now that the adrenaline was slowly dissipating, you felt the full extent of that slap, falling to your knees at how much it hurt. Sans hadn't turned to you yet. "we're goin' home, _now_. paps can do the shopping later."

Something about how he said this made you decide not to argue. Besides, everything ached to the point you wouldn't be able to put up much of a fight anyway. Hot tears streamed down your face -- though you couldn't feel half of it -- & the overwhelming anxiety & adrenaline spike left you sobbing, aching, & exhausted.

You didn't even realize you'd garnered an audience until Sans finally turned to you, helping you to your feet & getting a good look at your face. "shit, she really did a number on ya." He muttered. "the hell was that all about, anyway?"

When he received no answer, & only more tears, he sighed, "alright. let's go home."

 

Sans couldn't make you talk about what'd happened until Papyrus returned later that night from finishing the shopping for you. After some ice, your face felt better, but the reality of the situation still weighed heavy on your shoulders, especially since now both brothers were ready to murder whoever did that.

You appreciated that they cared, but you told them not to murder anymore. Sitting at the dining table with them, you tried to explain, "Uhm, so to summarize that whole thing, we have some...history, and..."

You swallowed what felt like a thick lump in your throat. "She's my...old abuser."

The reaction was instantaneous: Sans's eyelights disappeared, & Papyrus stood up, putting his hands on the table. "_____, you will tell us who she is and where to find her, _now_." He demanded.

"Like _hell_ I know where she lives now. I just hope she doesn't know where I live..." You remarked. "She never really hit me, but...she said a lot of things, which still affect me to this day. Uhm, she also... _did_ things to me, that I don't wanna remember, much less describe."

"She _did_ things?" Papyrus tilted his head. "What kind of--"

"he _said_ he doesn't wanna talk about 'em." Sans stopped him, seemingly fully aware of the implications you meant.

Papyrus stood up straight. "Well, if you're alright now, then I will drop it. For now, though, I'm going back out."

With that, he left. Papyrus rarely ever slept, so it was no surprise he was willing to leave in the dead of night. Perhaps he was giving the two of you time alone as well...?

"I'm alright." You spoke up before Sans could. "It's usually pretty easy to not think about all that crap. Still, for her to actually physically assault me this time..."

Sans's eyelights still haven't returned. You couldn't think of anything else to say, so you got up from your seat. "Anyway, thanks for coming to my defense. I don't like to think about what else she would've done if you weren't there."

To his shock, you leaned down & kissed his cheek, before taking your leave to your bedroom. Sans finally snapped out of his silent rage when you did this, but only blushed a little. You...didn't really _need_ to thank him, he was just doing what anyone else would've done, but... You still kissed his cheek. You'd never done that before.

...How would they feel if he tried to kiss you?

 

×-♡-×

 

"Do I have something on my mouth?"

Shit, he was caught staring.

Sans yanked his gaze away, certain he was sweating again. "j-just a crumb from dinner, no big deal." He was trying to brush it off, but this time he felt like it wasn't going to work.

You wiped at your mouth, & he felt his soul pounding when you commented with a mutter, "But there's nothing there..."

_Shit, shit, shit_ , he was gonna get called out for his creepy behavior. Papyrus wasn't home, leaving him completely out of excuses to ignore his feelings or run away from the situation. Why did he have to go & stare again, fearing the adoration he felt while also desperately wishing you'd just _kiss him already_ \--

"Sans, is something bothering you?"

He flinched & looked back to you. Trying his best to grin, he assured, "no, everything's good, d-don't worry yourself over me."

Bad move.

You frowned. "Of course I'm gonna worry over you, Sans. Why wouldn't I?"

Sans had no fucking clue where to look or what to do with his hands. "i...i ain't worth the trouble, doll, i thought i made that clear."

"You worry over _me_ , don't you?" You tilted your head, enough that you could look at Sans as he tried to hide where he sat. "Like whenever Papyrus starts to get angry with me & you try to take the blame for it. What about that time the accident was clearly my fault but you butted in, saying you'd dared me to do it because you didn't want me to be called an idiot?"

What the fuck, you _remembered_ that shit?! Sans tried to sink into his hoodie, but you retaliated by grabbing both his hands, swinging your leg over his.

No, _no no no_ , how the _fuck_ was he supposed to brush off you straddling him?! He tried to say something, but only sputtered & sweated. Meanwhile, you kept a gentle grip on his hands, in hopes that he'd calm down.

"Please talk to me, Sans." You spoke softly, pushing him further into his own little hell by lacing your fingers with his again. "You...know I love you, right?"

Sans had completely shut down in this moment, struggling to process what you just told him. You...what? "You don't have to say it back." You continued, brushing your thumbs along his hands. "I just wanted you to know that, & know that I trust you. Do...Do you trust me?"

Fuck, did he? Regardless, this wasn't something he could just ignore, he had to answer _now_. Sans scrambled to find something to say, trying to ignore his flushed cheekbones. "y-you're askin' me some heavy questions, sweetheart. but...uh...y-yea..."

You smiled, & _God_ he wanted to kiss you. He wasn't even yelling at himself over wanting something so ridiculous anymore, he just wanted more of _you_.

"Do you mind telling me what's going on in that head of yours, then?" You teased a little. Everything in him was begging to keep quiet, while also screaming to _just do it already_.

"i...i ain't entirely sure about how we would, eh...uhm, how we'd..."

Sans struggled too much to get his shit together, so he brought your palm to his teeth, hoping you'd get the message & give him some mercy, or pity, or anything. "Ah...heheh..." You just barely chuckled, gracing his cheek with your fingers while he kept his gaze away from yours.

_Please don't be mad, please don't be mad, please don't--_

"Why would I be?"

Sans didn't have the courage to look up at you, but now cursing himself for opening his damn mouth again at some point. Meanwhile, you gripped his other hand a little tighter. "Is that what's been bothering you lately, love?"

_Fuck_ , don't use petnames on him _now_. He flushed darker, barely nodding. Suddenly, he felt his other hand move, but he froze when he felt your lips kiss his palm. _Did you...?!_

More importantly, why did he always feel he was at death's door when you pulled this kind of shit? Why wasn't he used to this by now? It was embarrassing, & he wanted to hide again if he didn't spot how goddamn happy you looked about all this.

"If you wanted to kiss, you could've said something, love."

"y'know that ain't how i work." He growled. "can ya blame me for not sayin' anything, though?"

"Yea, doing these kinds of things were practically prohibited underground." You nodded. "But you're not down there anymore, Sans. It's okay, you're safe now. I'm here now, & I love you. You don't have to worry about being vulnerable anymore."

He wanted so desperately to lash out at you, & make you see that he wasn't deserving of this kind of attention. How fucking _blind_ could you be?! He so badly wanted to yell, to get mad for allowing himself to fall to such levels after working so hard to make some kind of reputation underground. He wanted to be the one to scare everyone, he wanted to be the one that just took what he wanted & leave when he was done, he just wanted to be more than what he was.

After all, he was just a lazy, anxious, perverted mess. Who would want someone like that?

But...looking up at you...seeing how happy you looked in this moment, with _him_ , of all people...

Remembering who you used to be with made him realize, maybe he wasn't the _worst_ of the worst. Even then, you still clearly loved him, for... _him_.

Tears pricked in the corners of his eyesockets, & before you could voice your concern, Sans leaned forward to press his teeth to your lips. It tingled, just the way he thought it would, & he moved his hands to pull you closer. You accepted his gestures, wrapping your arms around his neck & pushing a little deeper.

For once, Sans could die right now, & he'd be happy.

He only pulled away when you tapped at his shoulder, apparently needing to catch your breath. You were breathing as though you had the air knocked out of you, which only boosted his ego. "did that surprise ya, doll?"

"Definitely." You still managed to giggle. "But, I have a question. How long were you thinking of doing that? I...think I wanna make up for lost time."

Holy shit. 

_Holy shit._

"oh, we're gonna be here for a while, sweetheart."

While his doubts didn't go away, they sure as hell shut up for now.

 

×-♡-×

 

It was late -- 3 in the morning, to be exact -- but Sans had woken up from a...particularly nasty dream. The more he tried to recall what he'd seen in his dream, the more he felt his soul pound with fear. He huffed, shifting to lay on his back, while you muttered something in your sleep.

Oh, right. You were sharing the bed with him now. His bed was uncomfortable, & completely unsuitable for a human to sleep on, so now he'd find himself in your room most nights. He always excused this due to his frequent nightmares, & while that much was true, he still couldn't admit that fact that he just wanted to _be_ with you.

You shifted in your sleep, turning over to face him. From here, Sans could just barely see your sleeping figure in the darkness. It was...comforting, to know you were right next to him. It kept his fears of the world resetting away for now, & your presence in general managed to soothe him, no matter how scared, angry, or upset he felt.

You were his anchor, so to speak.

Some more shuffling, & you began to stir awake. Sans could tell you'd noticed his eyelights, as they just barely glowed red in the dark. "Hey..." You muttered. "How long have you been up for?"

"just a few minutes, sweetheart."

"Tha's good..." You slurred a little, still mostly asleep. "I...had a weird dream..."

"oh yea?"

"Somethin' about you with a dick..."

Sans snorted, trying his best not to break into a howling laughter. "r-really now? y'know i can only manage a tongue, yea?"

"Yea, but could you imagine."

"pretty sick, if ya ask me."

"I'm curious now, though."

Before Sans could question you, you moved to straddle him, the blanket still draped around your waist. He flushed, his thoughts now going into overdrive. Fuck, was this happening? "w-woah, doll, are ya sure? i-i mean--"

"I trust you."

His soul couldn't pound any harder as you spoke. "Yea, I've been through some shit, but I trust you, Sans. You never force me into things, & even if you do insult me I know it's just teasing & not trying to be personal. So...I trust you, if you wanna do this."

_Holy...fucking...shit._

"...i love you."

You simply smiled, moving to kiss him. "I love you too. Now, can I go to the _bone-zone_ or is that for another ti--"

"oh _hell_ no, it's right now." He sat up, taking you by surprise. He watched you flush as he smirked, "don't worry, sweetheart, i'll be treatin' ya _very_ nicely."


	2. Bone Zone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your first time with Sans turns a little more sensual & personal than you'd expected from him, but you weren't complaining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont be surprised if the reader's part in this is a little...underwhelming, to you. I had a whole section written for sans focusing on the reader, but I wanted to be more inclusive for any transguys w/ bottom dysphoria as well. my apologies,,
> 
> though technically, this can be read by anyone regardless of genitalia/gender, this was written w/ transguys in mind

Sans moved to kiss you, assuring he'd take good care of you. Everything in him wanted _oh so badly_ to just ravish you, make you _his_ , but a small something in him wasn't entirely sure how you'd feel about this. Given what you were willing to detail, your last encounters to something like this weren't pretty, but...you still seemed interested in doing such, so...?

"how do you wanna do this, sweetheart?" He asked as you pulled away for air. "just say the word."

You toyed a little with the fabric of the sweater at his humerus. "U-Uhm..." You stammered. "Just...be gentle, for now. You can leave hickies, if you want, but...no hitting, tying up, or degrading, please."

You almost looked as though you were afraid to tell him this, so he tipped your chin to make you look at him. "of course. we ain't doin' any of that, then, okay?"

This seemed to perk you up, as you smiled & nodded. "Thanks..."

"now, where were we...?"

The hand tipping your chin carefully moved to your neck, as he returned his mouth to yours. His other hand carefully graced along your thigh, eliciting a small shudder from you. Sans took in every small noise & movement you made, drinking it all in.

_Oh, this was gonna be **good**._

"lay down, baby." He instructed you. You did as he said, moving off his lap & sitting up just a bit against the headboard. Sans moved so that his knees rested near your ass, his hand moving to explore your thigh again.

"You said you can conjure a tongue?" You remembered his earlier comment. He only smirked at this, his golden tooth glimmering in the moonlight sneaking in through the curtains.

"yea, you curious?"

You could only nod, but he chuckled a bit & granted you mercy, returning to your lips. You were certain he was already doing something with his magic when you kissed, due to the tingling feeling you always felt. So, when you felt him pull away a bit, only to feel something entirely made of magic poke at your lips, you whimpered & opened your mouth.

Gripping onto the sweater he wore, you couldn't help but moan at this new feeling of his tongue intertwining with yours. Sans seemed extremely entertained by this, allowing his hand to sneak under your shirt to feel the skin on your stomach. You shuddered, pulling away to catch your breath. Your chest was heaving, & you were starting to feel lightheaded.

...Wait.

Your breath picked up its pace, & your grip on Sans's sweater tightened, catching his attention. "everything alright, doll?"

"J-Just nervous..." You tried to calm down, doing your damn best not to remember.

"we can always quit, y'know." He reminded you. "i may be...quite perverted, but i ain't gonna push ya to do this."

Right, right, he's not going to force anything on you. He's made that perfectly clear. This isn't like before, when she...

You shook your head, feeling your breathing relax as your thoughts blurred. "I'm alright. Uhm..."

Averting your gaze, you tilted your head, exposing more of your neck. "She...never really did _that_ to me, if you wanted to--"

Sans didn't hesitate to put his full attention on your neck. While he mostly nuzzled your flesh, you still shivered & whined at the affection. Every time you'd make a noise when he graced along a certain part of your neck, he made sure to give it much more attention with his tongue as well, leaving you melting in his touch.

It wasn't long before he started to bite down on your skin, as you tried your best to keep your voice down. "it's okay, doll, make some noise." Sans practically purred against your neck. "paps ain't here."

You decided to trust him, groaning more openly as his fangs bit down. Suddenly, you felt as though he broke past your skin. Grunting, you curled your toes & moved to grab the hand he was using to hold himself up. Sans accepted this, lacing his fingers with yours as you whimpered from the stinging sensation in your neck.

"S-Sans-- _Ah!_ " You jolted when a stronger sting coursed through your body, but Sans held you close & tightly with his other arm. Now, he was licking at where he bit as if his life depended on it, making you feel heat pool in your abdomen. "Shi... _Shit_..."

"you can say that again." Sans commented, almost in a growl. "was that too much?"

"Nah, nah, that was...unexpected, but nice." You twitched a little from another sting, & you could only assume he'd made you bleed.

You felt him chuckle against your skin, before he stopped. "hey, before we go any further...ya ever heard of soul marking?"

"Can't say that I have." You moved your hands to toy with the fabric on his shoulders.

"figures." Sans buried himself a little more within the junction between your neck & shoulder. Judging by the warmth you felt, he was getting...nervous? "basically, uh...it's when a soul marks another, and uh...it's-- it's usually for soulmates."

 _Soulmates..._ You thought that was just fiction, but perhaps humans changed that when monsters were sealed underground. "Soulmates, huh...? How do you mark a soul?"

"basically just doin' what we're already doin'." He muttered. "it'll just be...more obvious, since i'm a monster n' all. i mean, unless ya still want that... i just think that, uh, since we just click so well that maybe it'd work, y'know?"

Sans couldn't hide any more if he tried. Meanwhile, you flushed to the point you couldn't feel his warmth on your skin anymore. Your lack of an answer made Sans begin to backtrack. "uh, y'know what, forget i said anything, that's somethin' for another--"

"Woah, h-hey, wait." You stopped him. "Sans, look at me... Please?"

He didn't move, unsurprisingly. It took some kisses to his cheek to lure him out, to which you held his face after finally kissing his teeth. He still refused to look you in the eye, however, moreso trying to focus on the hands on his face. Good enough, you supposed. "If you think this'll work...then I trust your judgment. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if we're soulmates, considering how... _right_ , this feels."

He finally looked you in the eye, his own eyelights now merely pinpricks. "you...want to...? with _me?_ " He muttered, trying to process what you said. "_____, i--"

Sans stopped, now just staring at you. You couldn't help but smile, giving him a chaste kiss with a giggle. Staying only a few inches away, you muttered, "I trust you."

Before you knew it, Sans pushed his mouth to yours, biting your lower lip to make way for his tongue. You groaned in response, trying to grab at his sweater again in hopes of staying somewhat grounded. The magic swirling in your mouth made your chest begin to feel light, & you whined at the sensation. This felt good, _really_ good, but given where this was going, a burning curiosity conjured in your head.

How is he gonna feel pleasure? Sans had commented earlier that he can't form genitalia like he can with his tongue, so...?

Gently, you moved one of your hands to rub along the ribcage under the sweater, earning you a deep groan from the skeleton. "careful doll, all your-- _ngh_... all your sappy shit got me sensitive." Sans warned you, but you kept going. " _gh--!_ "

You sat up a bit to stroke his lumbar vertebrae from over his sweater, while you planted light kisses along his cervical vertebrae. It seemed as though the entourage of touches were overwhelming him a bit, if the restrained whining you heard was any indication. Still, you pushed further & slipped your hands past his sweater & shorts, landing straight on his ilium.

" _aaAAH--!_ " Sans jolted forward, the front of his pubis grinding against your crotch. You paused from the sudden touch down there, while Sans flushed & tried to catch his breath. " _sh-shit..._ "

"Is this too much?" You asked, refusing to move an inch. When Sans just shook his head, doing everything in his power to not look you in the eye, you instructed, "Then...please sit down."

He did as you said, & you scooted forward so that your crotch was close to his again. Sans tried to ignore this, but the blush he couldn't hide said otherwise. Sitting up all the way now, you tugged at the hem of his sweater. "How comfortable would you be without this?"

Sans sputtered for a moment, but also seemed...somewhat relieved that at least _someone_ in this situation was calm. "uh...n-not...really..."

"Alright." You nodded. "You don't have to take it off. I want this to be good for you too, y'know."

"i know, it's just...it's for a stupid reason. real fuckin' stupid."

"If it's because you're insecure, then it's not--"

"not what i meant, doll."

Raising your eyebrow, you noticed he'd moved to rest his hand on his other wrist. As usual, he refused to look you in the eye.

...Ah.

"I used to do it too, y'know."

"i know, i can see 'em. that doesn't mean i'm cool with mine, though."

"Not saying you have to be." You carefully reached out to put your hand on his wrist. "It takes a lot of time to come to terms with all that. But, we'll talk about that later, if you're still interested in...whatever we're doing."

"y'mean _sex?_ " Sans smirked, giving that smartass look he loved to give from time to time.

You rolled your eyes, giggling. "Yea, that."

After giving him a small kiss for reassurance, he practically whispered, "i'm...still good if you are."

"I'm all good. Is it alright if I resume where I left off?"

You noticed his cheekbones dust with red, filling you with pride. "if...ya want to." Sans looked away from you again. You used this as your chance to kiss at his vertebrae again, catching him off guard.

"I'd love to." You muttered, moving your hand back down to his ilium. He only jolted a little this time, but shuddered soon after & began to melt under your touch.

As he grunted, you whispered to him, "You're so beautiful...so precious... I could love on you like this forever..."

"sh-shuddup..." Sans tried to remark, but it fell flat as you moved along his pubis. He gripped onto your shirt, hiding his face in your neck as he whined.

"It's true." You continued. "You're always so gorgeous to me. Always so cute when you want to show affection. You know I appreciate every little bit of love you can manage to show, so now I want to return the favor."

With that, you used your free hand to tug the collar of his sweater down, taking a lick at his collarbone. Sans moaned at this, gripping onto you tighter while you kissed along his clavicle. By now, the hand stroking his pubis had moved to his sacrum, where you could feel the most heat & magic, given the tingling in your fingers. The moment you touched his sacrum, Sans loudly groaned & pulled at your hair, yanking you into a nearly bruising kiss. You kissed back with as much fever, accepting when he shoved his tongue into your mouth.

Your chest began to feel light again, & when you noticed a glow just beyond your eyelids, you sneaked a peek to see what was going on. There, you saw what looked to be a green heart appear from your chest, moving as Sans pulled you so that your chest was flushed against his.

Returning your attention to his sacrum, you felt how he tried to thrust his hips against your hand, in a blatant attempt to feel more of you. You blushed at the thought, deciding to give him just what he wanted.

Sans pulled away, just enough to let a groan erupt from his mouth. " _sh-shit_ , baby, _____, i--" He panted, almost frantically trying to finish. You saw his eyelights take notice of the green heart floating near you. "fuck, _already...?_ okay, okay, just--"

He grunted, slapping his hand over his mouth, but you yanked his arm away to cover his mouth with your own. He deeply groaned at this, allowing you to slip your tongue past his teeth again. Sans was growing desperate, tightly grasping any part of you he could find. He soon settled on the back of your head, & your thigh. It was then you realized how sensitive you'd become, as you whined into his mouth while his hand moved further down.

 _Christ_ , were you about to finish too?

Sans pulled away to curse again. "shit, shi-- _aAHH~!_ "

He froze, shuddering, & you felt his pubic area grow nearly twice as hot as it'd felt just moments prior. Now, you saw another heart appear -- white & upside down -- but it almost looked as though it was...sweating? However, you'd hardly gotten a good look before your vision blurred, your body feeling searingly hot.

Fuck, he'd barely touched you, & you'd finished already? Regardless, you tensed as well, your orgasm making you visibly pulse for a few moments afterwards. 

As Sans finally came down, he finally noticed the soul as well. "ah, heh, that would, uh...that'd be mine."

"Is it...sweating?" You barely panted.

Sans was visibly sweating too, averting his gaze again. "...no...?"

What? Then what was it--

...Oh.

Taking your hand back from out of his pants, you held your hand out to it, watching as it simply floated over your palm. Now that you recalled, a monster's soul was literally their entire being, meaning that if it did something like _this_...

You leaned closer, & gave a small lick. Sans jolted again. "w-woah, hey, what the fuck are ya-- _gh--!_ "

He flushed a deep red as you continued to lick. Sans tried his best to keep still, but the longer you kept going, the more he found himself squirming. "y-ya _really_ don't have to do that, sweetheart." He practically panted.

"I want to."

If Sans could blush any darker, he certainly would have done so in this moment. Soon, you were done licking up whatever his soul had created, only now taking in the taste.

...Figures he'd taste more sweet, given his diet habits mostly consisted of mustard.

Now that both his & your souls were out, you questioned, "So what do we do to mark them?"

"what?" Sans frowned. "ya don't wanna cum too?"

"I..." You blushed. "I already...did...?"

Sans glanced between you & your soul. "but it ain't doin' the thing mine was?"

"I actually have genitalia, Sans."

"hey, fuck you." Sans almost laughed at this. "still, i barely even touched ya and ya still...? are ya sure ya came?"

"I think I'd know if I did." You giggled. "And I did."

Sans chuckled, & nodded. "good, good...so, uh, yea, the soul markin'..."

He brought his hand out to take his, as well as yours. "shoulda already happened, i'm thinkin'..." He muttered, observing his & your souls. Then, you started to notice something. A faint, white haze slowly began to surround your soul, while a green haze slowly faded over Sans's.

Sans closed his eyes, barely chuckling. "so it _did_ work..."

"Looks like it did." You smiled. He carefully placed his soul back into his chest, as you did with yours. When that was settled, Sans finally opened his eyesockets again, & you noticed something had changed.

Were his eyelights in the shape of hearts now? "so we _are_ soulmates..." You watched as Sans took your hands in his. "sweetheart, i want ya to know that...from here on out, everything i do, is for _you_ , okay? now that i actually got someone to protect...i won't fail ya. i promise."

Your heart swelled, & you smiled, leaning your forehead to his. "I know you won't."

"...i love you."

"I love you too, Sans."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise! I got more in the making >:3c it took some boning for sans to fully trust the reader, so now he's ready to share some REAL personal shit, & i wanna be there for that lmao so look forward to that if u wanna


	3. Content

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans finally trusts you enough to talk about his issues, and slowly comes to terms with his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand I'm done! for this fic, anyway. I made it Cute And Fluffy bc they're my kinks lmao
> 
> anyway, I got some xmas fics in the works for both this fella and the original sans, would anyone be interested in any other Skeles? I can do the original undertale Skeles, as well as au's like underfell, underswap, maaaybe outertale, swapfell, and echotale, and hell maybe even horrortale if anyone's into those Skeles.

"they ain't pretty."

It'd been a few weeks since the "soul marking" event, so when Sans spoke up, mindlessly toying with the fabric covering his wrist, you understood what he was talking about rather quickly. "They're usually not." You commented. "But, they're stuck on us, so it's mostly about coming to terms with them."

Sans fell silent, his eyelights disappearing. If you didn't know any better, you'd think he looked...ashamed? "i, uh...still do it sometimes. it ain't your fault or anythin', but...yea."

_Christ_ , was he terrified of bringing this up around you. The last thing he wanted was for you to be angry with him, upset that he was still doing something so fucking stupid.

"I'm not upset." You assured him, carefully moving over on the couch so you could lean on his shoulder. He tensed, but didn't shove you off. "It's really hard to break that habit, so I understand. I still tend to get the urges every now and then."

Aside from whatever was playing on the TV, neither of you spoke for a few moments. It wasn't uncomfortable -- at least, to _you_ it wasn't -- but there was still a tension you couldn't ignore. Sans felt his soul go silent when you asked, "Where...Where do you keep what you use to hurt yourself?"

"i know what you're gonna do, and it ain't hap--"

"Sans, getting rid of what you use to do it is usually the first step in stoppi--"

"well what if i _don't **wanna**_ stop?" He suddenly moved out of your reach, standing up. No, _no_ he _couldn't_ let go of the _one_ thing that's kept him grounded while he suffered _everything_ that happened underground. He just wanted you to understand, this was what kept him _sane_.

As much as you wanted to raise your voice at how ludicrous he sounded, you knew it'd only worsen the situation. "That's exactly the issue with hurting yourself, love." You emphasized by tugging your jacket sleeve down. "You think it's helping, but it's only making things worse. You'll keep having to hide, you'll keep making excuses, you'll...you'll keep running away from your problems."

Showing him your arm, you asked, "How would you feel if I started hurting myself again?"

Sans's eyesockets widened, before narrowing. What the _fuck_ were you talking about? "don't you fuckin' _guilt-trip_ me--"

"I'm not." You firmly stopped him. "I'm asking how you'd feel if I started doing it again. Don't think about what could've driven me to do it again, just think about how you'd feel if you saw me doing it again."

Sans struggled to answer for a few moments, glancing at everything but you as a few beads of sweat appeared on his skull. Shit, what _would_ he do? More importantly, how'd you always manage to corner him like this?! "i--...i'd...want you to stop..." He admitted, finally. "bandage you up, get you some help, make ya see that...ya don't deserve to feel like that..."

You smiled, and got up from the couch. Before he could question you, you'd wrapped your arms around him, leaning against his shoulder. He tensed for a moment, not hugging you back. "And what makes you think I don't want the same for you?" You inquired. "I'd do the exact same for you, Sans. Even if you don't believe it, you don't deserve to feel like hurting yourself is justified."

Sans, who still hadn't hugged back, muttered, "no...ya don't understand -- i've _killed_ people, doll. i've brutally murdered anyone that managed to get to snowdin. i have a fuckin' _body count_ to my name, _____. doin' this to myself is--"

"You had no choice back then." You pulled away, taking him by the shoulders. "Asgore made you do those things, you've told me that you'd " _have hell to pay_ " if you didn't kill. The fact that you didn't continue to do the same shit once you got to the surface, that tells me you didn't _want_ to kill. You only got to finally stop because you were freed.

"So _this_ ," You reached for his hand, holding it up and moving to place your other on his wrist, "can stop, because it's not justified. Not up here. You're your own _being_ now, Sans, you don't have to carry out what Asgore wanted anymore. What you do now is your own choice."

Sans glanced to his wrist, looking back to you in what seemed to be shock. He began to feel a sting in his eyesockets. "Besides," You smiled, "you got someone to care for you. That's gotta mean something, in terms of who you truly are."

You stepped forward, giving him a chaste kiss as you hugged him again. "I love you, Sans. Please, at least consider stopping this habit. I really care about you."

There were another few, long moments where Sans didn't move an inch. Frankly, he was in shock, and near tears over what you'd said. It was then, finally, that he began to consider...

Maybe, _just maybe_ , he wasn't as bad as he thought he was. If someone like you can manage to see so much worth in the anxious mess of a jerk he was...then maybe he isn't that bad.

...Alright. He'll stop. For you.

You were worried you'd pushed him too far, so you went to pull away, but Sans suddenly pulled you back. You yelped at the sudden jerk in another direction, but didn't object when he moved to finally hug you back. He enveloped his arms around your torso, holding onto you tightly as you giggled. "why ya always gotta be so fuckin' _sappy_ , babe..." He grumbled, digging his phalanges into your clothes. "just--...fine. i'll show ya where i keep that shit, later."

Just as you were about to ask why he decided to brush it off for later, Sans pulled away enough for you to notice transparent red tears streaming from his eyesockets. You tried to voice your concern, but he pushed his mouth against yours before you could do so. Gripping onto his jacket, you returned the kiss, though still worried why he was crying.

"Sans...?" You breathed after separating. "Wha--?"

"don't worry 'bout it, sweetheart." Sans moved to rest his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. "just...stay here, for a bit. okay?"

You didn't hesitate to answer. "Of course."

 

×-♡-×

 

Sans was seemingly becoming much more relaxed around you, and you couldn't have been any happier over it. Today was definitely no exception. 

You'd just returned from work, shivering from the cold weather outside. "Christ, I'm gonna get hypothermia out there." You muttered, removing your jacket.

You suddenly felt a weight on your shoulders, and you glanced over to see Sans, out of his jacket. "ya ain't dyin' on me yet." He simply teased before teleporting back to the couch.

What did he--?

It was then you felt the familiar fur tickle the nape of your neck. You blushed, but smiled, tugging the jacket so it properly draped over you. Despite being a skeleton, Sans provided a surprising amount of warmth, meaning his jacket became a good source of heat if he felt like giving it up for a bit. With you, he didn't seem to mind as much as he used to anymore.

You'd also recently learned another reason as to why he'd provide his jacket. The sight of you wearing his jacket almost always set off something _possessive_ in him, and you'd usually end up in the bedroom as a response. So, whenever he'd offer his jacket while at home, it was usually his way of offering some time in the _bone zone_.

... _Geez_ , you were getting as bad as him with the jokes.

Still, he apparently had quite the libido, if his latest blatant sexual remarks were anything to go by. Given how naturally they came to him, you could only guess he's felt this way for a _while_ , but didn't want to scare you off.

What a gentleman. Perhaps you won't torture him any further today.

Once rid of your boots, you headed to the living room, catching the eye of the only skeleton sat on the couch. Of course Papyrus was still out, but you considered that a blessing. To be frank, you were feeling...rather clingy today, so Sans's offering of his jacket wasn't helping.

You decided to surprise him today, immediately sitting yourself on his lap instead of taking a seat next to him. "well _hello_ , sweetheart." Sans smirked. "what's the occasion?"

"I think you'd know." You giggled, shifting to slip your arms into the sleeves. "Why else would you offer your jacket?"

Sans eyed you up and down for a moment, his grin widening. "as much as i'd love to, i know paps is gonna be home soon. he only went out for guard-related shit today."

When you tilted your head in confusion, Sans bust into laughter. "what, can't a guy show some pity? ya looked _frigid_ , sweetheart."

So...he only gave you his jacket because he saw you were cold?

You felt a surge of warmth in your chest, and you couldn't help but smile. With some adjusting, you leaned your head against his shoulder, hugging his torso. With how much the jacket swallowed you, it was easy for Sans to snake his arm under, wrapping over your back. "Thanks for this, by the way." You muttered against his neck. "I was freezing my ass off."

" _oh no_ , then what would my hands have to grab?" Sans teased, moving to tangle his fingers in your hair with his free hand, rather than go for the obvious joke of grabbing your ass. 

Suddenly, he felt you move the arm that was wrapped over your back, swiftly lacing his fingers with yours. "That." You clarified with a smirk. "Or is that too sentimental for you?"

So that's what you were playing. Alright then, he can handle this. Without a word, he lifted your hand to his teeth, pressing against them for a few moments as he watched you blush. "nah, i think it's just right."

While Sans knew sentimentality wasn't his forte, he was definitely willing to learn and adapt if it made you _this_ flustered. You never reacted to his sexual remarks as much as when he'd actually work up the courage to kiss your cheek or verbally express his affections. "ya so cute like this, baby." He muttered to you, watching as you flushed and tried to hide your face. "nah, nah, come back out, there's no need to be shy."

You giggled against his collarbone, soothing into the feeling of his fingers rubbing your scalp. The moment you peeked back at him, Sans smirked, "there's my pretty boy."

Flustered even further, you slightly tightened your grip on his hand. "ya like when i call ya pretty boy?" He teased, his voice dropping an octave or so. "because it's true. ya so cute and handsome, especially like this. makes it even more special since only _i_ get to look at ya like this."

He was killing you, and he knew this damn well. Perhaps this was revenge for all the times you teased him for flushing at simply holding hands or hugging.

But you didn't mind, in fact you encouraged him to continue. Gazing up into what you affectionately called his " _heart eyes_ ", you smiled, "Only for you, Sans."

He chuckled, pressing his teeth to your forehead. You relished (heh) in how openly affectionate he was with you now, and never tried to stop him from doing so.

Papyrus was an exception, though.

The moment you heard the front door click, Sans instantly teleported the two of you to your room, with him now hovering over you. He stood up from the bed, managing a small cough. "s-sorry, ya know how he gets when he catches us...ah, what the fuck did he call it?"

"Canoodling?" You sat up, shifting around in Sans's jacket a little, due to the sudden teleportation scrambling you up a bit.

He laughed at this. "yea, that. so yea, sorry doll, we're gonna have to cut that short for now."

Sans stepped away to leave, but you inquired, "Hey, do you want your jacket back?"

He paused, glancing over to you. Eyeing you over again, he smirked. "nah, keep it. gotta keep ya warm until we find a...better method."

Sans left with a wink, while you held your laughter in until he left. _God_ , what a pervert.

...You couldn't love him any more if you tried.

 

×-♡-×

 

As much as Sans vehemently denied any PDA you gave him, he didn't seem to have a problem giving any to _you_. Sneaking an arm around your waist, grabbing your hand if he felt you strayed too far, et cetera. You had a hunch as to why he did this, but decided against asking.

So when Frisk, the kid that managed to free everyone from the underground, invited you and the skeleton brothers to a festival before the upcoming holidays, you weren't surprised when Sans did the same routine while you were out and about.

Apparently, due to the conditions they dealt with while trapped underground, practically all holidays just...stopped occurring. No one trusted each other enough to come together to celebrate anything, but now with human cooperation, they managed to put together a festival in the town park right when December started.

Papyrus left once the three of you arrived, presumably to hang out with Undyne instead of being " _the cursed third wheel_ ", as he'd put it oh so politely. You didn't mind, especially since Sans seemed to relax a little bit with his brother's departure. But, he was still rather tense, as evidenced by his dark eyesockets and tight grasp around your waist.

"Is everything alright?" You quietly asked him. "If this is too much, we can--"

"nah, everything's alright, doll." Sans stopped you, glancing around as if looking for something.

To be frank, Sans was indeed looking for something...and perhaps feeling a bit nervous too. While he didn't do well with crowds, that wasn't his main issue right now. He was keeping an eye out for... _someone_.

He wanted you to have fun, and he'd be _damned_ if he was gonna let that _bitch_ ruin everything again.

Sans loosened his grip when he felt you poke at his hand. Oh, so you wanted to hold hands? Alright, fine -- it's a festival, he supposed you'd enjoy a little leniency from him in terms of PDA tonight.

You did. Feeling your cheeks warm up as he laced his fingers with yours, you smiled at the gesture. "Is there anything specific you wanted to do?"

"i ain't stickin' around for the fireworks, that's for damn sure." Sans practically hissed. He hated how his fear of loud noises was...a little too obvious at times, and it didn't take a genius to figure that out.

"Don't worry, I was planning on leaving a little before that anyway." You assured him. "But is there anything _you_ wanna do?"

"not really, no." He answered, almost flatly. Realizing how bored he might've sounded, he backtracked, "look, just-- enjoy yourself, okay sweetheart? i ain't that interested in this kind o' shit, but-- don't let me stop ya from havin' fun."

You wanted to kiss his cheek, but knowing how he felt about receiving affection in public, you instead squeezed his hand. "Alright, love."

...Christ, your petnames were gonna _kill_ him. Before, he hated when you used " _love_ " in reference to him, but now... He couldn't stop the light blush that came in response.

It wasn't long before you tugged him to a certain booth. There weren't many that were interested in this one, so Sans finally got some room to breathe while you perused what the seller had to offer. They mostly sold accessories, such as rings, necklaces, bracelets, et cetera.

Given the booth was run by a monster, Sans assumed that maybe he wasn't the _only_ one that gave up his previous lifestyle after being freed. Accessories in the underground were considered a waste of time if they didn't help in the act of killing, and clearly _none_ of these were going to kill anyone.

He suddenly felt a tinge of anxiety when you took your hand from his. You reached out to where the necklaces were displayed, picking up what looked to be a...collar? It didn't have the durability of one, and was easily flexible. After asking if you could try it on, you slipped it over your head, adjusting it so that it wrapped nicely around your neck.

Sans tried his best not to blush, but he couldn't help it. The collar you'd slipped on was lined with black skulls, how could he _not_ enjoy seeing you in something like _that?_ You smiled to him. "What do you think?"

"it, ah..." He tried not to stammer in public. "it looks good."

If the light blush and aversion of your gaze were anything to go by, he enjoyed it _immensely_ , but tried to act cool. _How cute_. Smiling even wider, you turned back to the seller. "How much is it?"

Sans took this time to calm down while you paid for the collar. He glanced over his shoulder, looking out to all the other folk that decided to come. He still hadn't seen Papyrus since the three of you arrived, and Sans assumed he was over where monsters sold weapons and the sort.

While they promised they wouldn't kill anymore, some of them didn't give up their lifestyle of making weapons and armor, and his brother was no exce--

Wait.

Sans spotted someone he recognized a little too well. Shit, she actually _came?!_

He nudged you a bit. "doll, i think we better hurry up."

You looked to him, about to hand money to the monster at the booth. "Huh? Why's tha--?"

The moment the monster took your money, Sans grabbed your arm and teleported. The two of you didn't end up far -- only right outside of where the festival was taking place -- but you still looked to him in complete confusion. "Sans, what's going on?" You raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, were the crowds too much? You could've told me--"

"no, no, that ain't it." He stopped you, slowly loosening his grip on you. "i just...saw someone i don't think _either_ of us wanna deal with tonight."

You visibly tensed, glancing just over your shoulder to check if anyone was listening or nearby. "Wait, _she's--?_ "

"yea."

The two of you stood there for a few moments. "look, i-- i'm sorry if mentionin' her already ruined everything." Sans muttered, gripping you a little tighter again. "i just...didn't want her makin' everything shit again."

You exchanged a look with him, before you smiled and moved to hug him. "Nah, it's alright. I appreciate that you're looking out for me."

Since no one was around to ogle or jeer at the two of you, Sans didn't mind returning the hug. Still, he felt a surge of anger, knowing that now you were going to be on edge for the rest of the night just because that _bitch_ was nearby. "Thanks for warning me about her." You told him as you pulled away. "Now I'm prepared to be a stone-cold dick if need be."

Sans just stared at you for a moment, before laughing. "babe, i don't think you're capable of doin' that, no offense."

You folded your arms, smiling. "That's just because you've never really pissed me off, love. You'll see."

" _no_ , i _won't_." He remarked with a smirk. "i'm keepin' ya away from her."

"I'll let you kill her if she pulls anything."

"...interesting proposal, but nah." He shrugged. "she ain't worth anyone's time, 'specially ours."

"Fair." You giggled, taking hold of his hand again. "Ready to go back out?"

"just a sec."

Without much time to think, Sans pressed his teeth to your lips. You barely got to return the gesture before he pulled away. "now i'm good. ya owe me a lot o' that after tonight, by the way."

Blushing, you laughed at his insinuation. "I think I can manage to pay you back for tonight."

 

×-♡-×

 

" _hh--!_ "

Sans snapped awake, finding himself staring up at the ceiling as a cold sweat enveloped his body. Shit, _another_ nightmare? He was sure his eye was fuming, given the red glow he illuminated the room with.

Yet, you managed to sleep through it.

He watched you sleep for a few moments, allowing his magic to calm down with the knowledge that, yes, you're still here. Still, that wasn't enough to quench his anxiety, so he hesitantly shook you awake. "Mmh...?" You mumbled, grabbing at the hand shaking you. As your eyes fluttered open enough to process your surroundings, you noticed the rather frantic skeleton beside you. "Woah, hey, what's up, love?"

You were still here. You still loved him. This wasn't a dream. "i..." Sans struggled to find his words. "just...another nightmare..."

"Anything I can do to help?" You sat up, forcing yourself to stay awake now.

As Sans sat up with you, he moved his hand to rest just below your collarbone. "lemme see your soul."

Though it was a bit more difficult for you to bring your soul out so suddenly compared to monsters, you still managed to do so after a few seconds. He watched as it appeared from your chest, moving to float just above his palm. Unsurprisingly, it still glowed a quiet green, but seemingly glowed a bit brighter when you remembered the white haze that surrounded it. Sans brought his own soul out afterwards, watching the green haze that surrounded his own.

He let out a huff, the tension leaving his body in an instant. "so we're still..." He almost inaudibly muttered, but you still caught it.

"Of course we're still soulmates." You smiled, shifting to lean on his shoulder. "Did you...have another nightmare about being reset?"

"even worse. the kid went on a killing spree." Sans let go of both his and your souls, letting them hover close together. You noticed the hazes begin to mingle, only bringing the souls closer to the other. "i...thought i wouldn't get to see ya again."

As good as Sans was about being honest with his feelings now, he still felt... _weird_ , about allowing himself to be so vulnerable. You snuffed out his concerns by moving to kiss his cheek. "Well, we're soulmates, yea?" You questioned, taking his closest hand in yours. "I think that, no matter how many resets, we'll still manage to find each other, one way or another."

Sans scoffed, "yea, only if the kid frees us, though."

"Not particularly. What if _I_ decided to go to that mountain?"

"oh _god_ , don't make me think about if _you_ fell down there." He groaned. "that's about as bad as my reset nightmares."

You couldn't help but smile at his concern. "But, knowing you, I feel like you'd manage to save me. I trust that you'd do your best to keep me safe, and I'd do my best to make sure you feel happy."

You felt his teeth grace your forehead. "you...have _that_ much faith in me?"

"Always will."

When he laced his fingers with yours, you felt Sans squeeze your hand. You smiled, relaxing a little more.

...

After what felt like a few minutes, Sans forced a small cough. "hey, uhm...could you...do something for me?"

"Sure." You sat up, certain you were going to pass out on him if you leaned on him any longer. Besides, Sans was blushing again, and that was always _quite_ the treat to you.

You noticed he was watching his and your souls, gently brushing against one another as the hazes now became indistinguishable from each other. He snapped out of his daze, staring down at his hand holding yours. "could you...show me how much...ya love me? not--...not sexually, if ya would."

It was your turn to blush, rather taken back by his request. Sans never _asked_ for affection before, you just gave it and he never complained. But, this was certainly something you didn't mind doing, at all. Your sleepy state left you much less in control of your inhibitions, so you let go of his hand to hug his torso as best you could from the side. "I'd love to do that. You deserve so much love, Sans."

"i'm gonna die, aren't i?" He avoided your damn near lovestruck gaze, flushing at the thought of what was to come.

You only giggled. "I think you'll like it. If not, you can always tell me to fuck off."

Sans couldn't stop himself from snorting. "ya say that as if i _ever_ tell ya to fuck off."

After instructing him to lean against the headboard, you shrugged, "You should always have a choice to tap out, even if you never take it."

Once he was sat up, you shifted to sit in front of him, as close as physically possible. Sitting on your heels, you took hold of both his hands and brought them close to your lips. "Lemme know if I push it, okay?" You instructed with a wink. Sans only nodded, watching you very closely.

You turned one of his hands over, kissing his palm while keeping eye contact with him. He blushed a little deeper at the sight, now unable to look away. Using this to your advantage, you leaned a little closer and muttered, "You know I love you, right?"

His cheekbones dusted a crimson red, but he nodded rather quickly. You smiled, pulling his hand up so you could kiss at the barely exposed wrist, due to his sleeve falling a bit. As you kissed, you whispered, "Good, because I really do love you, Sans. I love you so much..."

"sweetheart..." He managed to mutter. Glancing to him, you checked to make sure he was doing alright.

You blushed when you noticed his heart eyes, glowing much more prominently in the darkness. This only fueled you to go further, so you asked, "Can I...see your wrists?"

Even though the two of you have talked many times about his "habit", you still never saw his arms yet. While you trusted him enough to feel as though he really _did_ stop when he promised to do so over a month ago, there was still a lingering fear that he was still hurting himself. You refused to be upset with him if he relapsed at all between then and now, but you still hoped he hadn't done so.

He doesn't deserve that kind of pain...

You weren't sure how to react when he visibly tensed, his heart eyes disappearing. "i-i..." He stared at you, stammering and struggling to give a coherent answer.

"You don't have to if you're still not comfor--"

"you can look."

That was unexpected. "Are you sure?"

Sans only nodded again, trying to avert his gaze again. Despite this, he moved to grab your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. "i...trust you."

... _Holy shit._

You flushed at this confession. He's _never_ said this _himself_ before. Given his equally flushed appearance, he knew this just as well as you did, but he didn't try to backtrack.

So...he _really_ meant it.

To further prove his point, Sans took his hand back to push his sleeves up _himself_. You watched in clear shock as he did this, and he managed to crack a smirk at your face. "i guess i've kept ya in suspense long enough, huh?"

"N-No, I just..." You didn't even focus on his arms yet, and shifted to cup his face. Giving him a small kiss, you smiled, "I'm really proud of you, Sans."

He didn't expect that, and blushed again. "thanks, sweetheart. a-anyway..."

He held out one of his arms to you, forcing you to shift your attention. Due to his anatomy, you couldn't say he had scars, but moreso...chips? There were clear chips and dents in his radius and ulna, some of which were deeper than others.

You carefully took hold of his arm, observing and caressing the marks that littered his wrist. Exchanging one more glance with Sans, you leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on one of the deeper indents. "I mean it, when I say I'm proud of you." You muttered against his arm. "After everything you've been through, you still choose to live another day. Even after convincing yourself that all you deserve is pain, you still allowed yourself to let me in and prove you wrong. You're so brave, for going against what I sense are such _strong_ doubts. Somewhere inside you, you still _believed_ and _hoped_ for the best, and I'm _so_ proud of you for continuing to push forward, even when it feels easier to let everything fall apart."

With some more kisses sprinkled along his arms, you smiled against his radius. "I love you..."

As you kissed along his arms some more, you took his hands in yours again. Once you felt you'd proved your point, you sat up to look at Sans again. His heart eyes had returned, and were glowing _very_ brightly now. This made you giggle, leaning in to give him another kiss.

And another.

And _another_.

"I just love you _so much_ , Sans..." You whispered. "I'm glad you let me do this."

"i-i love you too..." He mumbled. "i...i don't say that enough, do i...?"

"I won't _ever_ force you to say it back." You told him. "I understand that you tend to struggle with admitting your feelings, since the underground shamed such emotions. But, I can feel it in your soul every time I tell you I love you... You have your own ways of saying it back."

His blush darkened as you told him this. "thank you...for understanding..."

You only answered him with a kiss.

And another.

And _another_.

Sans actually moved to wrap _his_ arms around _your_ neck, taking you by surprise yet again. Only letting you stray a couple inches from him, he muttered, "i love you, _____..."

"I love you too, Sans..."

The two of you shared some more lazy kisses, slowly shifting to lay down again. Your souls were still present, glowing brighter and pressing against one another now. However, you mostly focused on continuing your entourage of affection.

"How are you doing now?" You breathed as you pulled away.

"...better..." Sans admitted. "uhm...thanks for doin' that, by the way."

With another smile, and one last kiss, you mumbled, "Anything for you, love."

His and your souls remained present until the two of you fell back asleep, staying just as pressed together as the souls were before disappearing back into your body.

**Author's Note:**

> (˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵) I love one(1) nervous wreck
> 
> there's a ch2 in the making, & it's mostly just me being both touchstarved AND thirsty, which is not a good combo,,, anyway maybe look forward to that? if u wanna??


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